I wasn’t sure how to start this post, so let me begin with two paragraphs describing two different kinds of chaos I deal with on a regular basis.
The Home Depot hosts a free children’s workshop the first Saturday of every month. It’s a great opportunity for my kids to get their hands on some tools, to practice following instructions methodically, and for the family to spend time together. Sometimes there’s breakfast or lunch. The space is packed tight with people, there’s incessant hammering, and the kids are constantly dropping nails, screws, tools, and other materials. They have a section to paint whatever the craft is for the month, but even with the aprons they provide, the paint is just one step too far into madness for me on a Saturday morning!
The Anah Shrine Clowns go to EVERY event in the Bangor area. They diligently show up to each parade, every public event. If there’s something happening and people are gathering, you better believe that the clowns will be there in full clown makeup and associated clown regalia. I’ve even seen them driving home from events together in a convertible- a literal clown car driving down the street. What exactly do they do? They blow up lots of different balloon items (hats, swords, animals, and various combinations of those things), hand out collector’s cards (each clown carries pocketfuls of card versions of themselves and they will not rest until every child has at least one copy), crack jokes, give high fives, and get wired on coffee. They’re a good time, and my kids are always happy to see them.
I as a parent, have fully embraced the pandemonium that comes with having young children and like both The Home Depot kid workshop and the clowns separately. What I never would have guessed, though, is how much I also like them together.
Yes, that’s right, the Shrine clowns show up to every Home Depot kid workshop, and it is WILD.
The inherent chaos of the event is magnified exponentially by the presence of the clowns. Steel your nerves for a cacophenous blend of children pounding nails into wood, balloons popping, kids running around and shrieking, and clowns everywhere handing out cards, starting balloon swordfights, and never missing an opportunity for a gag or a joke. I walk out with an elevated heart rate and shaky hands, but I’d still recommend the experience to anybody once!
I’ve been doing some research on the Shrine Clowns, and while they do appear to have units in many places, there seem to be a lot of ‘em in my neck of the woods. I’ve been trying to determine if the Bangor group influenced a young Stephen King at some point in the past, resulting in the monster in his 1986 novel IT transforming into a clown and terrorizing children, but I currently have no proof. Maybe that can be the subject for the letter I’ve always wanted to write to King? I’ll report back later.
Anyway, my point is that clowns are great.